Math.

I am a social worker. I chose to go into this profession because of a deep desire to help others, mainly children. This is a profession that relies on "people skills." When you think of the skills it takes to deal with people, do you include "knowledge of math" among them? Neither do I. And yet, the CSWE does. The agency responsible for deciding what we, as social workers, need to learn thinks that knowledge of statistics and data analysis are important. Granted, if I wanted to be a researcher (which I don't), I could understand this. Because I have no desire to be a researcher, I have no desire to learn statistics. But, I am learning it nonetheless. I haven't done math since my junior year of high school (I took math my senior year, but I wouldn't say that I actually did anything in that class). That's over 10 years! It's not that the math that I'm learning is terribly complicated, but, well, it's still math - and I hate math. That's why I'm currently writing in my blog instead of doing my statistics homework. Math makes my brain hurt, even when I understand it. Do I feel like I'm back in high school again? You bet I do. And that's probably the real reason why I loathe my stats class. Because, honestly, who on earth wants to be back in high school again? I shudder at the thought...

Damn self-reflection.

So, a big part of getting your master's in social work at PSU is deconstructing everything you've ever believed about the world and how it works, including how people act and who people are - with YOU being the person about whom you are supposed to think the most. Meaning, a huge part of this education is getting to know yourself on a whole different level...learning and deconstructing your biases, beliefs, strengths, and weaknesses in a way you never have before. While I fully see and accept the value in this, it can also be quite disconcerting at times. You are forced, now and then, to come face-to-face with some ugliness that you didn't even realize you had inside you. Realizing it's there and maintaining an awareness of this ugliness is very important if you are ever to be an effective social worker. However, sometimes I just want to push it away and pretend it doesn't exist. It's just pretty damn uncomfortable to just live with it, you know? All part of the process, I suppose.

But that doesn't mean that I don't want to go skipping out into a pristine meadow and shout, "I AM A GOOD PERSON! I SWEAR!" at the top of my lungs once in a while.

Sigh.

Paper, Schmaper.

From the title of this post, it may or may not be obvious that I'm supposed to be writing a paper right now. So, you ask, how come I am not? Because I don't feel like it. I'm frustrated and annoyed, and sick, too. I can't seem to stop coughing, and my chest feels like it's on fire. I should get an extention, dammit, but it's too late now. Besides, the paper's only 6 pages, which isn't very much. It' s just that this professor and I have different views of how papers should be written. She seems to be more of a "black and white" type of person, asking us to divide our papers into sections with subheadings. In my entire post-high school academic career, I have never written a paper like that. My papers tend to be one coherent narrative, in which I am able to include all the required information, but still am able to be somewhat creative about my approach. I am used to answering all the questions in an order that makes sense to me, which usually means blending topics together. This doesn't mean that I leave anything out, it just means I am not a linear thinker. This professor, however, seems to be a linear thinker. I don't understand how I am supposed to divide this paper up into separate sections. Fer cryin' out loud, it's a paper about attachment theory! It's all interconnected! It doesn't lend itself very well to divisions. I can't figure out how to write about it that way without being redundant, because everything in the theory has to do with everything else. You can't talk about the behavior of the secure base without talking about the resulting attachment styles, and you can't talk about attachment styles without talking about the secure base behaviors that created them! It just doesn't make sense. None of the articles or books I've read divide it up this way. Hell, I think I'll just be a rebel. Maybe I'll just have two sections: Attachement Theory and Its Relevance to Social Work and My Attachment Style. That way, at least I'll be sort of doing what she wants.

Ha Ha. I think I won. :)

Awesome.

Your Pimp Name Is...

Ms. Skillz

What's" Your Pimp Name?

Sigh.

I want a puppy!
Dammit.
I want one!

I'd Rather Be...

It is 7:58 on Saturday morning. A short time ago, I was sleeping soundly and happily. So, why am I awake now? I'll tell you: I have to go to work.

School has started. Stress is upon me. All the time. I have class two days each week, my internship two days each week, and I work three days each week. That's my entire life. Okay, so one of those days I work all day and then go to class at night, so I guess there's one day every week that is "free." But I have to request it off from work every week, or else they'd schedule me for a 4th day. What I am trying to get at is that life is way too crowded right now, and I'd rather be in Alaska. Or Hawaii, where I am going in June after I graduate.

Speaking of work, there is someone there that I can't stand! He is the most annoying person I have ever worked with (grammatically incorrect sentence, sorry). I can't stand him! As far as I can tell, there are no redeeming qualities about him...and I'm a social worker, so it's my job to find good things about people! He is one of those people who thinks they know everything about everything and everyone. I intensely dislike him. INTENSELY. Good Lord, I hope I don't have to work with him today. I also hope work is not nearly as busy as it was last Saturday.

On another note, I had some strange dreams last night, involving bears, a snake, a farting redhead, and my bare feet. Hmmm...perhaps I'll check them out before I head to work....